“The only thing that makes life unfair is the delusion that it should be fair.” (Dr.Steve Maraboli). My delusion in this case was that I thought I was treated differently when I was the one to blame. According to whattoexpect.com one in every thirty babies are born twins. My life consisted of being in the background of my twin sister, Karissa , who was noticed as a cheerleader, runner, and dancer for most of my life, and I always blamed my parents, but maybe it wasn’t completely their fault. In my opinion, being a sister is simple. All you have to do is be there for her when she is feeling down and provide encouragement when no one else will, but being a twin was a whole other story.

If anyone had ever told me being a twin was easy, they would be wrong. For as long as I could remember fairness wasn’t very big when living with an over-achieving and talented twin sister. Not only did I feel like a shadow through most of my childhood ,but I felt less appreciated. At the young age of three I was told my parents were getting a divorce, because I was so young I didn’t realize how much that it would later affect my life. I remember one moment in my life that made me realize why I felt like a constant shadow and how it opened my eyes about Karissa’s parental attention.

This one moment had happened when I was ten years old; I had moved two hours away from my dad in Battle Creek and in with my mother to Ovid because she had a great job opportunity. As having to agree with court orders that were set when I was three, I still got to go to my father’s house every other weekend. At first it was fine, that is, until I started both soccer and band. This limited my ability to spend time with my dad and I realized this but still continued with both activities. When this all happened my father had always made time for all things Karissa was involved in, not only this, but she was able to spend more time with him due to having a more available schedule. I soon got jealous of Karissa’s treatment compared to mine. The attention Karissa got in contrast to mine was something I found unfair. What gave her the reason to be shown so much attention and not me? Due to this, I felt resentful to my parent’s, specifically my dad. Then one day sitting in the back of my mom’s van it hit me, maybe, the blame shouldn’t have been shouldered on my parent.

I sat quietly in the backseat of my mother’s black minivan dressed in a grass stained soccer uniform as Karissa talked excitedly about how much fun she had at our father’s house where we had recently picked her up from. My mom looked back in at me though her rearview mirror and sighed quietly. She told me sadly knowing it was a hard subject for me to talk about, “You know Kiernan if you keep finding different reasons to avoid your dad you wouldn’t be so disappointed every time she gets picked up from his house. “ I shrugged not completely wanting to talk about it because what she said was true, and I didn’t feel like facing the truth yet.

Then Karissa turned around in her seat, looking at me sadly as if she felt bad for me and said, “She’s right you know. Dude, why did you join soccer and band? And don’t you dare tell me your lame excuse that you did it for the enjoyment because we both know that isn’t true.” I looked up at her and tried to hold back the tears that were bound to come if we kept talking about this subject like always, at the time I just stayed silent not knowing how to respond to such a confession but her words affected me mentally. I understood then that it wasn’t just my father and mother’s fault. I realized that by choosing to distance myself and feeling resentful it just made my sadness worsen, Karissa was the only other person that knew that I joined soccer and band to avoid having to go to our dad’s house because I didn’t want to be invisible for a whole weekend let alone at all. I knew that I would enjoy the school activities that I signed up for though, I didn’t want to be a shadow anymore so I made myself busy avoiding my problem with after school activities. That’s when my eyes opened for the first time, that this was partially my fault.

I noticed then that Karissa deserved the attention she got; she worked hard and made time to spend with our father. I had the delusion that what had happened was unfair when really, it was completely fair. This taught me to make time for my loved ones and not to distance myself so much. I learned that I shouldn’t get so jealous of my sister because maybe she deserves what she gets. The world isn’t always going to be fair, but sometimes it is and you just don’t think it is. Till this day, I still work to have a stronger connection to my dad and I stopped distancing myself which had in turn made me happier.

Being a twin to a person as remarkable as Karissa is hard but she deserves what she gets, if you work hard then you get the recognition of it. Fairness might not seem like it’s there but in reality it is, you just don’t see it. I didn’t really understand this as a young ten year old but now I do. After learning this it made my bond with my family stronger, made me work harder and be more content with life. My word of advice to you is to try to open your eyes to the hidden justice in everything.